The following is a question from a student posted on shakti's blog www.shaktimhi.com; "The Purpose of Existence" Both the questions, and shakti's responses are written below. The student's words are italicized.

Hi shakti,

Here is the first of my many questions:

I want to know what the purpose of existence? Is there a purpose? Everyday is a new day with new experiences, there are ups and downs, etc. but really what is the purpose? I feel like I am just living day to day until my time is up. What are we all doing here?

Thanks,
W.

Dear W.,

Let's say you will be guaranteed that there is no purpose to existence and it simply is what it is, in any moment.

Would you, as a result:

• Not care about anything any more?
• Not bother to breathe?
• Not bother to love?
• Stop being curious?
• Stop appreciating the beauty of a sunrise?
• Stop seeing the magic in rainbows?
• Kill yourself?

Let's say you will be guaranteed that there is a purpose for your existence

Would you, as a result:

• Stop worrying?
• Stop being afraid?
• Free yourself from all attachments?
• Stop reaching out for recognition?
• Become the free self that you are?

The tree never says "my purpose is to create shade". While we sit under the tree we perceive its purpose in that moment as giving us shade.

Because the answer depends on who asks the question (us or the tree) and on who gives the answer (us or the tree), it makes neither the question nor the answer relevant, as it makes the questioner disappear...

Now go and have cup of tea* and drink it as if it is the last one you'll ever drink, and you may find out that being fully in the experience doesn't leave space for questions.

Love
shakti

*I very much recommend jasmine tea.

Dear shakti,

Thank you for your response. And I happen to love jasmine tea.

I don't fully understand your reply (yet) and am trying to understand what you mean.

When I am fully in the present, I realize how empty and meaningless my life and life in general is. Yes, I appreciate the beauty of a sunrise and in fact, I appreciate so much.

Is the answer to just be and embrace this emptiness?

Thank you,
W.

Hi W.,

First I would like to ensure you that the matter we are discussing is beyond the mind gymnastics. This is the reason why in the beginning of our search for spirituality (meaning: discovering reality beyond "the making sense") we are mostly in confusion.

The mind perceives reality in formulas.

For example: for the mind 1+1 is always equal to 2.

But when you experience reality beyond the mind, 1+1 may in one moment be equal to knowing and in other moment to a void or the infinite or nothingness.

So instead of trying to understand, figure out, or make sense of my words to you, simply let them resonate in you until your "sixth sense" will wake up and be activated to pick up on the endless possibilities that you may not be aware of in this moment. The most important is to be playful. Be sincere, but not too serious.

One of the greatest zen sayings is "form is emptiness and emptiness is form".

"Form is emptiness" - Nothing has a meaning but the meaning that we pour into it in each moment.

"Emptiness is form" - like everything else, emptiness is just another form with a meaning of emptiness.

Most of the spiritual seekers are looking for a formula, recipe, structure, or path that will answer all of the dual questions that the mind raises. Most of the seekers are not willing to take the seat of power by giving a meaning to their moment; and in the same time not being attached to this meaning otherwise it turns to be a dogma instead of an experience.

The answer for the mind's questions lies outside of the mind, in the experience. The experience takes place outside of the mind, while the interpretation and evaluation of the experience lies inside of the mind.

For example, taking a shower is an experience that takes place outside of the mind.

The shower was fun, too short, too long, too warm, unsatisfying etc, are all the mind's evaluations and interpretations of the experience.

In other words we can say that the answer revealed itself when the question ceased.

You are asking if there is any absolute meaning to existence.

In the time between the two emails you sent me I managed to fall from a high balcony, break my spine and shatter my arm. In the moment of the fall when my body hit the rock I couldn't breathe, it took me extreme effort to force air into my shocked lungs. In that split second the meaning I gave to my moment was all about breathing and keeping my body alive. When finally the air entered my suffocated lungs, I was fascinated by my ability to breathe as I wasn't sure if it was ever going to happen again. Next was to check if I could feel my legs, as I knew my spine was injured badly. Feeling my toes was a very meaningful moment. I won't keep inventory of all my moments from that point on, but I was making sure in each of them that I stay out of my mind that often raises meaningless questions as "Why me?", "What will happen now?", "Am I going to live?", "Could it have been prevented?" etc.

Throughout all the moments I went through in the last two weeks: surgery, pain, discomfort and others, I was making sure that I am in the experience and not in the evaluation of it.

Even though all the above moments were absolutely meaningful in my direct experience, I cannot say they represent the absolute meaning of existence, as in the time of laying injured on the ground waiting for rescue, you may have had a cup of jasmine tea or a talk with a friend or had a moment of silence with your self.

If you would like to reveal the true nature of existence you have to move away from your familiar ways of perceiving reality, for example knowing that opposites such as meaning and no meaning dwell in the same moment, while for the mind it is always either this or that.

So to conclude all the above and future words:

If you need to have a confirmation that there is absolute meaning in order to have a meaning in your life, your life is meaningless.

If you do not have a space left in your moment to wonder about meaning because it is filled by your experience, your life is meaningful.

With love
shakti

Image courtesy of www.universaluv.com

Split Personalities

Do you sometimes experience what it feels like to have a split personality?

Many people, to different degrees, often experience a variety of personalities that may appear as opposites to each other. Those who are brave will express more than one of their personalities. They are brave because they act against the preference of the masses that dictate you should fulfill only one role. When a person is viewed as having only one defined persona, it makes it easy for the conservative mind to categorize what it sees.

"She is very shy."
"He is very powerful."
"She is very motherly."
"He is a successful man."

How would you (react) if the "shy girl" in your office would suddenly reply to you in an uncharacteristically bold manner?

Or how would you react if your mothering aunt, who constantly bakes and cooks for everyone and is always there to listen and give a hug, would unexpectedly announce that she is tired of serving and being the loving caring aunty so she is taking off to a foreign land to elope with a man she met on an internet dating site?

How would your family feel about you if you suddenly become apathetic when you are known as a driven and successful person?

Most omit people follow the unspoken requirement of staying within their defined character.

Imagine what happens when people stray from their predictable personas and allow an entirely different side to surface. For example:

She is very shy but last night she hit on someone aggressively.
She is very spiritual person, so I couldn't believe it when I saw her drinking at the bar.
He never shows emotions but last night he cried at the movie.

These unexpected behaviors, that are not part of the definition of the person, will be questioned with a very definite tone:

"Are you ok?"
"Did you lose your mind?"
"What's up with you?"
"I don't recognize you!"
"I do not know who you are anymore!"

Some people whose role is to be non-confrontational, when faced with an unexpected behavior from others simply squirm in their chairs uncomfortably, avert their gaze, roll their eyes or develop a sudden cough.

Those brave people who choose not to lock themselves in only one of their personalities, will be filed under "odd", "weird", "crazy" or if dealing with more charitable descriptions: "interesting" "a character" and "eccentric"

Which group do you belong to? The filer, the filed or both?

The reason why people choose not to express their "other" personalities is because they believe they can lose the approval, recognition, acknowledgment and love of the ones they feed off of. This is where one gives up their freedom.

We fulfill others' expectations of who and what they want us to be.

These people can be our:

Lovers and partners
Parents and family
Children
Friends
Colleagues
Churches
Society
and god.

The fact that we have been taught that a split personality or multiple personalities are not desirable, creates lots of feelings of unease in people who experience themselves in more than one way. As long as you are the one that masters your personas instead of your personas mastering you, there is no problem to be more then one defined persona. Mastering your personalities is achieved by not identifying with any of them as who you are as an essence. You are the maestro and your various personalities are the different instruments that express your different tones, notes, colors and shades.

So be it.

P. S.

Interestingly enough: it is known that in English you use the word "is" for singularity and "are" for plural. When I was writing the above article, the phone rang. When I answered, my friend on the other side asked, "How are you?" Why do we use "are" if it is only one person? Is it because subconsciously we know that there is more than one personality in each of us?

The Obsession with Yoga Anatomy

In today's yoga culture, yoga instructors take endless anatomy workshops and seminars, studying in excruciating detail which muscles contract when you blink your right eye.

Increasingly, yoga instructors compulsively fill up the already cluttered minds of their students with obscure anatomical details. During the yoga class the poor students are trying either to make sense of how the floating rib relates to the sitting bones or are trying to visualize their pelvis as a fruit bowl which swings back and forth as they do the cat pose.

There is no argument that understanding what happens to the physical body as we practice the asanas (yoga postures) helps the body open faster. It is important that yoga teachers know the body and its parts and be able to share it in simple terms with their students.

But why are so many instructors so obsessed with anatomy? Why are anatomy and alignment the only topics discussed in yoga classes?

It is no secret that the practice of Hatha yoga is not only about the body and becoming fit as its end goal. In the practice of spiritual yoga you are mindfully taking care of the body because it is the platform for the transformation to take place. When the physical body is in ease, when it is free of pain and diseases, it doesn't consume prana (energy life force). As a result, prana can build and accumulate in the body to become a high frequency fuel for the consciousness to transform onto its utmost potential.

So maybe the reason for the anatomy mania is simply because instructors are lacking spirituality. You can study anatomy but you must experience spirituality in order to demonstrate it in your teaching. Perhaps the fixation with anatomy fills up the void of not knowing and the gap of not experiencing.

Perhaps excessive anatomy instruction is becoming a trendy cover-up for diluted teaching. Instructors should not try to avoid silence in their classes, for it speaks volumes.

Beyond Beliefs and Faith

As a spiritual teacher, people often ask me about my beliefs.

Do you believe in God? Do you believe in karma? Do you believe bad people can achieve enlightenment?

Regardless of the specific nature or flavour of the question, my answer is always the same: "I do not carry any beliefs."

This reply constantly surprises my audience, as most people assume that spirituality goes hand in hand with beliefs and faith, and that the stronger the beliefs are, the deeper the spirituality.

On the contrary. On the spiritual path, the practice is to act from knowing and not from believing or having faith.

Two sources of 'knowing'

The first source of knowing comes from information we gather externally. We may gather this information through our direct personal experiences.

For example, we singe our finger in the flame of a candle and learn that fire can burn us. We do not believe that fire can burn us; we know it. We may also learn from others' experiences; our father teaches us how to drive as he has long been in the driver's seat.

The other source of knowing comes from outside of our physical experience but manifests in subtle ways within our bodies. This source may be called the Higher Self: intuition, inner voice, inner guru or God.

This second type of knowledge may manifest as feelings: "I should not take this offer even though it sounds ideal, it just doesn't feel right."

It may manifest as an inner voice or inner guidance: "Something" in me is telling me not to go to the party tonight.

Or, it may manifest as actions without preliminary thought, when we flow from one moment to the next doing the "right thing" without hesitation or doubt. Without premeditated thought, you decide to take a different route to work one day, unknowingly avoiding the collapse of a bridge and this saves your life...

No matter what we call this state, within it, there is an absolute sense of knowing.

So when do we believe?

On the other hand, we believe when we do not know or are not sure: "I believe in life after death."

We believe when there is no experience: "I believe in oneness."

The Canadian Oxford Dictionary defines faith as a "firm belief without logical proof," and belief as a "firm opinion or conviction."

Because belief and faith aren't based on a direct experience or inner or external knowing, they are very intangible.

Subconsciously, you know you can always lose it, ("he lost his faith"), so there is a constant effort to strengthen beliefs by reinforcing them. By trying to convince people around you to hold the same beliefs that you do, you create an artificial strength in numbers.

Throughout history, this has often if not always, resulted in one group of people imposing their beliefs on others, often planting these seeds of faith through the platforms of fear, brainwashing, and even violence.

Beliefs become our possessions. We "hold on" to our beliefs so we do not "lose" them.

Through the extreme fear of losing our beliefs, we become fanatic.

Do you need to reinforce the knowledge that water is necessary for your survival? Do you need to go to a Water Church once a week to be reminded of how important it is for you to drink water as you might otherwise stop doing it? Do you need to be convinced of the power of water? Do you believe that water is life, or do you know that it is?

If you believe in love, you do not love.
If you believe in peace, you do not know peace.
If you believe in God, you do not experience God.
When you know love, you experience inner peace and you become God.

This article was written by the request of CBC's new radio and news series: "Where is God today?".

Looking for the Light in "Self Transformation"

The following question came to shakti from a student seeking spiritual guidance during a difficult period in her self transformation.

Dear shakti,

I've been through "self transformation" since 2005. I began my first yoga class during this year. A nervous depression woke me up: I had the choice between going on sleeping and taking the pills or facing the disease. I decided to open my eyes and facing the truth. But the path was very tough... until now. I've divorced and I lost my mother - who died of cancer, in the same year. And in the same time, I lost my illusions, my old dreams, my old mental, religious patterns, and... my friends. Now, I'm getting more and more lonely. Some days I'm struggling against my fears (Am I a good mother for my kids? Am I a good teacher for them? Should I leave the place I'm living now for another very different place? Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? etc...) in spite of the fact that I know that yoga has nothing to do with struggling. I also fight against people I love most and then I cry because hurting them is like hurting myself. Yoga is about peace and union and I do the opposite. A very precious friend of mine who used to be both, teacher and lover wrote me in his last letter "to get out of my cave instead of cleansing it." He told me "to go to the light." He also told me things very hard to read... His words hurt me, but the fact his that I'm trapped in the darkness. I don't know how to reach the light within myself or the light of the universe. But I'm going on searching and maybe, you may enlighten me somewhere...

Love,
Ayala

Dearest Ayala,

You said:

"I've been through 'self transformation' since 2005. I began my first yoga class during this year. A nervous depression woke me up: I had the choice between going on sleeping and taking the pills or facing the disease."

First I would like to address what you describe as your "nervous depression disease."

More and more people from all ages are waking up in the morning finding themselves in depression, often believing something is terribly wrong with them as an individual.

What in the past used to be a hidden, embarrassing condition of a small minority dealt with in secret, has become a western cultural phenomenon. The number of depressed people is so numerous and widely accepted that advertising for anti-depressants can now be found on the sides of public buses.

It is important to remember that the depression you are dealing with is a result of environmental circumstances (being away from nature, lacking prana energy, and oxygen, pollution, chemicals, etc.) as well as a result of a stressful lifestyle. It seems like one needs to be a superwoman (or man) to raise a family, survive financially, and find the time and energy to fulfill one's inner voice or call. On top of it, unlike the old times, big families used to be structured as tribes where the individual could find support in raising kids, making a living and finding guidance from the elders. Today, the tribe structure is fading out and more individuals find themselves dealing with the burden of life alone - up to a state where they collapse physically, emotionally and mentally. So no wonder you feel what you feel in this moment.

You said:

"I decided to open my eyes and face the truth. But the path was very tough... until now."

The path is tough because to be on it you need to rise above your evolutionary programming that following it blindly brought you to this point. Most of the time we do not know better.

For example: In your search for a mate, getting married and having children wasn't done by you with full consciousness. You do have the illusion that you are the one that wanted to get married and have family but you actually followed the DNA program in each of your cells to continue your race like a good soldier. The duty to continue the race comes with many illusions such as: "marriage last forever", "my family is my happiness" etc., which helps to glue everything together. If you see the big picture as it is, it actually makes sense that two people will not survive forever as a couple if each of them goes through their own process in a daily life.

Why do we expect two people to constantly develop or regress in the same way, same direction, same pace and same time when they are two different minds? Most people stay together for the purpose of raising the children because this was the reason from the beginning for their "falling in love." Once the kids are there, often the "love" falls away.

As well, it makes sense that if you are occupied in raising, feeding, supporting, and training the next generation, you won't have much time to fulfill your own personal dreams. When you become aware, you may find that your personal dreams have nothing to do with your evolutionary role. If you do fulfill your dreams it will probably be warped with endless guilt of not fulfilling an "ideal" way your role as a parent, a wife, a daughter. Many people are trapped in the evolutionary surviving role but somehow when their kids are about to embrace the same direction, they are not there to enlighten their eyes. Often it is because we feel the need to see ourselves continue on.

It is not that on the path of spirituality you cannot have a family, but my point is that most of the people are not aware they have other choices than to continue passing their genes to the next generation. This drive to reproduce is one of the strongest forces of our physical existence.

You said:

"I've divorced and I lost my mother - who died of cancer, in the same year."
"And in the same time, I lost my illusions."

That is good as you should rather have a reality than illusions.

You said:

"I lost my old dreams"

Better to have manifestations then dreams.

You said:

"I lost my old mental"

All it means is that you let go of your old programming.

You said:

"I lost my religious patterns"

Maybe it is a time for you to create your an authentic patterns and not following others.

You said:

"and... I lost my friends"

If you lost your friends you never really had them. What you had instead is an exchange with people on a basis of give and take, and when one side (or both) found they cannot get what they want anymore, they end the invisible contract.

Where you are now is often a great turning point for a real awakening, as long as you are willing to take full responsibility for all your actions and intents by willing to stop looking for happiness in other people, events or circumstance. Your other option is to join the masses out there by becoming a victim that hopes to have an external salvation through relationships, money, fame, god and others.

You said:

"Now, I'm getting more and more lonely."

Do you know that the feeling of loneliness is an instinct rooted in us from our ancient time in the savannas? When we lived in dangerous areas and our self protections were fully relying on staying within the tribe, the unpleasant feelings of loneliness ensured that we would never depart from the tribe. This instinct is still within us but in a modern version.

When we need to receive acknowledgments from others to feel good about ourselves and when we do not receive that acknowledgement, we feel lonely.

You said:

"Some days I'm struggling against my fears (Am I a good mother for my kids? Am I a good teacher for them?)"

Be a good mother by giving your children the choice to live their life authentically without creating a net of expectations around them. Avoid telling them the lie that having a family is the utmost happiness for humankind. Rarely do mothers reveal to their children that the romantic love that often will drive a man and woman to have a baby as a demonstration for their love will be the first to fall away when the baby arrives.

Give them the option to choose and let them know the truth about the illusion that things remain the same. Give them the permission not to follow the majority's customs, give them the approval to be different from "others", to be true to themselves.

You said:

"Should I leave the place I'm living now for another very different place?"

I am very much encouraging anyone that would like to live a wholesome life to move and live in nature. Living in big polluted cities has devastating results on our nervous system and brain, our health in general and more than anything, our state of consciousness.

You said:

"Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? etc..."

Not if you will take the time and energy to find yourself. Then you always have yourself. Being in a relationship is fine as long as it is not coming from a need and desperation. If it is coming from that place, it will always be painful, as even if it goes well you will carry the fear that it may end. If you get to the point that you are content on your own, then a relationship is more of sharing instead of a form of dependency.

You said:

"...in spite of the fact that I know that yoga has nothing to do with struggling. I also fight against people I love most and then I cry because hurting them is like hurting myself."

You fight against them because you need things from them (support, love, recognition, acknowledgment, sex, attention etc.) and if you don't get it in the way and the doses you need then it becomes a struggle.

You fight against them because you do not have the power (yet!) to let them be who they are. We constantly demand from our loved ones to see the world from our eyes. Each of us wants to be the director of the movie. On the path of spirituality you never wish to be right by being so you see reality only from your own limited perspective.

You said:

"Yoga is about peace and union and I do the opposite. A very precious friend of mine who used to be both, teacher and lover wrote me in his last letter 'to get out of my cave instead of cleansing it'."

He is right. The next state is to realize that the cave doesn't exist...

Buy flowers for yourself for no reason on a weekly basis as a reminder that bliss comes from being in the moment.

Start from small things to practice mindfulness and learn the "self." Become the observer. So you do not fall into your emotions when things manifest not in the way your mind expects.

Reach out to give and not to receive.

Move on your own pace to a position that you make a living from something that gives you joy and contentment.

Practice letting people be who they are without demanding any expectations from them. At the same time avoid demanding from them doing the same with you, as love is not a business. Only a free person can allow others to be free.

With respect,
shakti

Ayala's response to shakti's comments:

Dear Shakti,

I read your letter carefully and it seems that the content is like an echo that comes out from my core. It really makes sense for me.

Thank you for all these precious things you shared with me.

Love,
Ayala.